Brainstorm 89: Books to help kids grapple with death & grief

In light of the mourning over the death of King Bhumibol Adulyadej here in Thailand, I thought the teachers at our school could use a reminder of resources we have to help kids deal with death and grief. So here are seven picture books to help kids (of any age) process grief and death. Of course there are lots of chapter books that deal with grief, but I’m just going to share short books that could easily lead into discussion time. I’m going to skip Activity Tie-ins/Target Readers for each of these. All can be used to discuss death, the stages of grieving, how grief can look different for different people and cultures, and healthy ways to express grief.
Half of these were shared previously in Brainstorm 62: Books on Emotions & Dealing with Tough Times. See that for more Activity Tie-ins/Target Reader ideas other than grief for books followed by an asterisk.

Picture Book Resources

Bug in a Vacuum by Mélanie Watt*
A little fly gets sucked up into the vacuum. This sudden change sees him going through the stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, despair, and acceptance.

This book provides a more gentle and tactful approach to addressing grief than some of the other books, and also provides a hopeful ending. It is clear enough many kids should understand this all on their own.

The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers*
A little girl is curious and has a full heart, until her father is gone. Then she decides she needs to keep her heart safe and protected. So she takes it and puts it in a bottle for safe keeping. But though her heart is safer, as the girl grows into a woman she finds her life has less spark. Eventually, a little girl helps restore her heart to the proper place.

This book is a little deeper in concept as the entire story involves symbolism and metaphor, so this would be ideal for older kids, and especially talking about how to grieve in healthy ways.

Grandad’s Island by Benji Davies
Syd goes on a grand adventure with his Grandad. They sail in a big boat and discover a tropical island. When Grandad decides to stay, Syd must leave him behind and finds the house lonely without him.

This book is bright, adventurous and doesn't expressly tackle grief. It is implied. There are emotions clearly there as the boy misses his Grandad, but what happened to Grandad is up for debate. It’s one you could use if you want to bring up grief subtly.

The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup
Old Fox dies and the rest of the animals gather to remember him together. As they relate fond memories of Fox, a tree grows to help them remember.

This is a gentle and quiet book, good for any age, and one that would provide a good lead-in to an activity of remembrance.

A Place in My Heart by Annette Aubrey, ill. by Patrice Barton
Told as a poem, a little boy processes his confusing emotions after his grandfather’s death.

Everett Anderson’s Goodbye by Lucille Clifton, ill. by Ann Grifalconi
In this story in rhyme, Everett Anderson goes through the stages of grief as he tries to come to terms with his father’s death.

This one tackles death and the stages of grief head on. The straight forward topic and the black and white illustrations make this a more somber read, but for kids who are likely to goof around, this may be just what they need to take the topic seriously.

Tough Guys Have Feelings Too by Keith Negley*
You would think knights, pirates, ninjas, superheros, cowboys, and pro-wrestlers have it all together. But they would like you to know, that sometimes they have tough days and shed a tear or two too.

A somewhat comical picture book that's boldly illustrated to convey an important message: It is ok to show feelings. An important book for giving tough boys (and girls) the freedom to cry when they need to.