The Brainstorm 62: 5 Books on Emotions & Dealing with Tough Times

It's not always easy to talk about emotions or how to deal with life's hardships. Sometimes a fictional character going through a similar experience can help break the ice. Here's 5 new-ish books that can help kids understand and deal with emotions and tough times. And though the focus is on kids, there are extensions where many of these books can be used in high school or even college as well.

Picture Book Resources

Tough Guys (Have Feelings Too) by Keith Negley
You would think knights, pirates, ninjas, superheros, cowboys, and pro-wrestlers have it all together. But they would like you to know, that sometimes they have tough days and shed a tear or two too.

A somewhat comical picture book that's boldly illustrated to convey an important message: It is ok to show feelings. An important book for giving tough boys (and girls) the freedom to cry when they need to. I loved some of the situations that brought various "tough" guys to tears. The pirate who has a bazillion holes dug and hasn't found the treasure yet, the knight who broke his sword, the cowboy falling off his horse, and perhaps best of all, the tough motorcycle guy crying over a squirrel that is now road kill.

Activity Tie-ins:

• Emotional Health: This book provides a great opportunity to talk to kids about what happens when we bottle up emotions and try to hide them. You can also talk about healthy ways to deal with sadness and hurts.
• License to Cry: If you need to give a tough kid a license to cry, this book does so with touches of humor.
• Social Studies/Cultural Geography: A lot of how we express our feelings is dictated by our culture. Sometimes this can lead to cultural misunderstandings. This book could be a good launching pad into researching how various cultures commonly express (or repress) various feelings, and when this can lead to misunderstandings when interacting cross-culturally. Which cultures are the most outwardly emotional and which are the most stoic? You can also extend this and debate the question of when it is ok to forgo cultural mores and express emotions in different ways.
• Class Discussion: Have the class discuss things that make them (or others) super upset. When is it ok to get really upset? When might it seem silly to get really upset?

Virginia Wolf by Kyo Maclear, ill. by Isabelle Arsenault
Virginia wakes up very grumpy and the whole house suffers with her. Eventually, her sister finds a way to help Virginia (and the house) out of the doldrums.

Supposedly very loosely based on the real Wolf sisters, this is a universal story of one person helping the other out of a bad mood. The illustration style is quite interesting. When Virginia is down, the illustrations are dark and foreboding and full of shadows. But once her sister has her cheering up idea, colors start to take over and chase out the shadows.

Activity Tie-ins:

• Grumpy Days: This book provides a good opportunity to brainstorm things that help when you wake up in a bad mood. It could also be a good time to talk about what makes you wake up in a bad mood (like going to bed late) and how to avoid those. Pull this one out when the whole class seems to be a bunch of grouches (including maybe the teacher).
• Art: Arsenault does some very clever things with the art in this book. She coordinates colors and moods. She also does something with the top of Virginia’s head that’s quite clever. (I’m purposefully being vague here. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.)
• Loved Ones & Depression: There are inevitably going to be children out there with loved ones struggling with depression. This could be a good book to open up the door to talking about that issue and how to help someone facing the wolf of depression (though it isn’t quite as easy as in the book).
• Compare/Contrast: Read When Sophie Gets Angry --Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang and compare/contrast it with this book. Both are about dealing with strong emotions, but they also have quite a few differences.

Bug in a Vacuum by Mélanie Watt
A little fly gets sucked up into the vacuum. This sudden change sees him going through the stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, despair, and acceptance.

You would think a picture book about grief would be depressing, but this one ends on a hopeful note and it addresses the topic in a light way. The accompanying illustrations are in a retro theme, and I can't imagine how long it took Ms Watt to make this book. It is three times the normal 32 p. though it doesn't feel too long.

Activity Tie-ins: 

• Loss of a Loved One: This is a great pick for anyone facing the death of a loved one, even a family pet. Though grief looks different for everyone, the stages will probably appear at some time and in some way. This book is a very non-threatening way to broach the topic of where they are in the grief process.
• Support for Someone Grieving: This is also a fantastic resource if you want to help a group understand what their friend is going through after the loss of a loved one.
• Moving or Life Changes: Any kind of big change can cause us to experience grief to some level. This is a good book to use when facing a family move or really any other change that really hurts.
• Psychology: Psychology classes could use this book when talking about the stages of grief. It illustrates them well and helps make them memorable. 

The Heart and the Bottle by Oliver Jeffers
A little girl is curious and has a full heart, until her father is gone. Then she decides she needs to keep her heart safe and protected. So she takes it and puts it in a bottle for safe keeping. But though her heart is safer, the girl grows into a woman finds her life has less spark. Eventually, a little girl helps restore her heart to the proper place.

Activity Tie-ins:

• Symbolism in Art & Literature: This book is just dripping with symbolism, making it an excellent illustration when talking about symbolism in literature or art. 
• Grief & Keeping an Open Heart: This is another book that could be helpful for someone going through the grieving process. After going through a hard parting, it is always a temptation to close yourself off from all others in an attempt to avoid future pain. Hopefully, readers can learn from the character and keep their hearts open to others.
• Expats & Third Culture Kids: Third culture kids and expats in general tend to face so many changes, especially in their community make up, on a regular basis it is easy to fall into the temptation of the main character in this book. It’s a good reminder to not withdraw from new friendships when you’re tired of constantly saying goodbye.

Sunny Side Up by Jennifer L. Holm, ill. by Matthew Holm
Sunny has to go stay for a part of the summer with her Gramps in Florida. She isn't too thrilled with Gramps' idea of fun, or that he lives in a 55 & over neighborhood. But when she meets the son of the golf course's groundskeeper, she finally finds a friend. Buzz introduces her to comic books and ways to pass the time in the retirement village. In flashbacks, readers slowly find out what was going on back in Pennsylvania with Sunny's brother Dale and why Sunny was sent to Florida for part of the summer. Eventually, the summer provides insight and healing for a little girl desperately in need of it.

A fun and sweet story that tackles a potentially heavy topic in a very delicate, respectful, and hopeful way. It will hopefully empower children in similar situations (dealing with a family member who is an addict) to know how to handle it in healthy ways. There's a note in the back from Jennifer and Matthew saying that this book is somewhat autobiographical for them, as they had a close family member who struggled with substance abuse when they were growing up. Even though the book deals with a heavy topic, much of it is humorous and upbeat. The plight of a little girl stuck with a bunch of senior citizens in Florida is done in a funny but oh so realistic way. (As a teen I spent one summer in Florida in my grandparents’ similar community, and a lot of experiences resonated with me.) The trip to the cafeteria was especially hilarious. Comic book/superhero fans will love Sunny & Buzz's debates about which superhero is best. The illustrations are attractive, and I'm sure that the huge group of students who love Telgemeier's books and CeCe Bell's El Deafo will eat this one up.

Activity Tie-ins:

• Unfounded Guilt: Sunny thinks her brother’s problem is her fault, and the guilt of this is really starting to bear down on her. There are many things that can make children take on unwarranted feelings of guilt, so this book provides a good opportunity to talk about that.
• Helping Addicts: There are really two addicts in this story, Sunny’s brother Dale has what we’d call a more serious addiction problem, while her Grandfather has also supposedly quit smoking. Sunny finds evidence of Gramps slipping back into his bad habit. It is a good opportunity to talk about how to help someone who is addicted to something.
• Intergenerational Relationships: If you’re looking for a read that allows characters of different generations to interact and learn to appreciate each other, this is a great one.
• Reluctant Readers: These chapter book graphic novels are a great way to get hesitant and struggling readers hooked on a good habit.